In the late 1920s, a young man by the name of Robert Johnson found himself at the crossroads by the Dockery Plantation in Mississippi and, in a very Faustian move, sold his soul to the Devil to become a great blues guitar player and songwriter. In 2011, a furry Sasquatch walked out to crossroads by Tavern on the Green in New York early on a Wednesday evening and sold his soul to become a stronger, faster runner. The exchange was quick, painless at first, and without any hesitation. He agreed to do everything that was asked of him to the very letter as it would be written and would put forth an effort worthy of their praise. It was in that moment under a blood red sky quickly fading to the velvet Elvis-y night, that the Speedy Sasquatch became a minion of the White She-Devil.

It’s been a while since I have been happy with my training. I’ve put so much time and effort into getting the Team Sasquatch crew ready for their various events that I just lost that focus and drive. Over the last couple of months that desire for acid-filled legs, fiery lungs, and body-collapsing exertion has returned and, as a result, I decided it was time to take things even a step further and really make myself accountable for the goal I’m after … I got a coach. I know that I could write a plan for myself and go that route, but, honestly, I’m a little tired of writing plans and just wanted to be told what to do, no thinking at all, just do. It’s been a few years since I’ve had a coach, and yes I do realize that I am a coach, but, like any good psychiatrist has a shrink of their own, I knew I needed someone to keep me accountable and ask more of me than I would ask of myself. Enter the White She-Devil.

Her credentials speak for themselves, as does her incredible spirit and generosity, especially taking on someone as pig headed and whiney as myself. OK, I don’t really whine that much, it’s more of a “please, mistress, may I have another”-type whining. She asked me all the right questions: What’s your schedule like? How many miles max? Are there any injuries or restrictions that should be noted? Do you wear really short shorts? What’s your PR? Knowing full-well what I want to do, I simply responded, “No injuries, no restrictions, just tell me what to do and it will get done.” I swear, the moment the words slipped from my lips I could see my signature appear in blood on a dotted line in her head and the nicest, most genuine sadistic smile washed over her face.

Having signed away my training life it is now my duty to chronicle it all from now till I toe the line in Sin City (how friggin’ appropriate). According to my overlord and master, WSD, we’re dividing the training into two sections, one that is higher intensity and speed-work-based and then a slightly more traditional marathon training approach, all the while maintaining my 3 weekly group runs with Team Sasquatch, the JDRF NYC marathon team, and the Paragon Sports Saturday Long Run group. With that being said, and without further ado …

My Life as a Minion: Week #1:

It was my understanding, as told to me by my overlord, that week one was going to be on the easier side and that I needed to be mindful that my “easy” runs were in fact that, something that I had a real issue with last year, but have since remedied. Looking at my schedule for the week it looked really good and was ready to step up to the challenge.

Monday, I had a choice of resting a, an easy 60-min run or swimming, so I chose to do the latter two! Yah, I might have been a little overzealous so I did them both and did some light weight work and core. To be fair, I am so completely intimidated by the White She-Devil I may have gotten a little ahead myself, but that intimidation is good, it will likely continue to bring the best out in my running.

Mon. Summary: 1,200 yard swim, weights and core in the morning session; 8-miles in 60-minutes for the evening session.

Since I’m always running with the Team Sasquatch and JDRF crews on Tuesdays, WSD simply had me do my usual, albeit keeping it on the lighter end of the spectrum, and then doing some additional work afterwards. For this Tuesday she had prescribed 4 sets of 10-sec hill striders to be done after the group workout, which was timed fartleks. I took it easy with the group and after core with them ventured off to Cat Hill for my striders. She reminded me to be aware of my form, foot strike, and posture and that once my legs wake up and muscles start firing I should be able to go farther with each repetition, which was 100% accurate. First one sucked and I mistimed it and went too far, but I nailed the others and definitely felt stronger with each one.

Tue. Summary: 8.68 miles consisting of warm up, timed fartleks, hill striders, and cool down.

Wednesday brought me back to the pool and the gym for weight work in the morning, which was lovely, but due to senior citizen manatees in the fast lane I had to cut my swim a bit short. The evening workout was 60-minutes [20-min warm up, 30-min of pick-ups on the 3s, and a 10-min cool down], which was actually pretty sweet. The pick-ups are short and controlled at a 5k pace and recoveries nice and mellow. Nothing fancy, just a solid workout.

Wed Summary: 1,000 yard swim, weights, and core in the morning session; 8.00 miles with pick-ups for the evening session.

Thursday was especially simple; just do what the Team was doing. Yah, pretty sure I wasn’t going to screw that one up.

Thu. Summary: 9 miles, including warm-up, 5-mile progression, and cool down.

Friday morning’s workout is when I started to really feel it all and realize how real this was going to be. One of the things I absolutely dread doing is workouts within 12-hours of one another and it was at about 6:30 am that I realized that this was now going to be a fairly regular occurrence. So, after the 9-miles last night, I was now going to be attempting a “Steazy Mid-distance run for 70-80-minutes” … and my legs instantly went to the words of the Virgin Mary, “Come again?” Apparently the “Steazy” portion is defined as pacing somewhere between Easy and Steady, which is more or less a mid-tier tempo run, right? I think. Maybe. Well, that’s what I did and my legs totally hated me for the early miles and I was really happy my brain wouldn’t let me drop my pace later on. A little pride never hurts, except maybe your legs on a morning such as this. It wasn’t pretty and I only could do an hour and ten due to time constraints, but I got it done.

Fri. Summary: 9-miles of unpleasantness @ 7:10-20 pace.

As I hit the weekend I had kinda forgot to check my schedule, because I have my usual Saturday long run group with Paragon Sports and the rest of my crew and the mileage was set, but OF COURSE WSD had her own ideas and had me doing striders in the midst of the mileage. The fantastic group run went south through Summer Streets, over the Brooklyn Bridge and back, out to the West Side Highway, across 72nd street and into Central Park for a lower loop, totaling 16-miles.

Sat. Summary: 16-miles with the group & 6 sets of 10-second flat striders on the course, because the boss said so.

And now, to conclude my week I had a long run workout that I was really unsure of whether I was going to be able to pull it off to spec. The profile for the run was this: 30-min easy, 15 x 1-min @ 6:00-30 pace, 20-min easy, then progression run till I hit 14 miles, working down to 7:00 pace. It was humid as hell Sunday morning and after wishing runners well for the NYRR Long Run #2 I went to the Bridle Path and played in the dirt for the duration of the first 2 segments of the workout. The 1-min pick-ups were a little daunting with the 16 miles from the day before still lingering in them, but I managed to hit all my marks. The easy recovery felt like death, but I kept a nice steady pace. For the progression portion I got back on the road and did a lower loop and then back up East Drive to finish the 14-miles. I really didn’t think I was going to be able to bring the pace on down as dictated, but I managed to nail them and finished with the last mile at 6:50 pace. For the first time in a while I went ahead and ice bathed, which turned out to be a very good idea, because my legs felt like they were bursting with lava from the fiery pits of Hell!!!

Sun. Summary: 14-miles of vicious brutality on dead legs.

Week #1 Total Mileage = 71

Can’t wait for next week … I think … maybe … perhaps … it’s up for discussion.